NFL Week 3: Oh Brother

After a pedestrian Week 2, I’m now 18-12 on the season overall, and an ugly and even 15-15 against the spread. It’s rare that I do worse in Week 2 than I do in Week 1, but I have a feeling this is going to be a weird season.

SUNDAY

Tennessee Titans (0-2) vs. New York Jets (2-0)(-3)
1:00 pm Giants Stadium
The Jets are getting pretty big for their britches. I’m still not buying this 2-0 start, nor would I be really worried about Tennessee’s 0-2 start. Unless they go 0-3.
Pick: Titans

Jacksonville Jaguars (0-2) vs. Houston Texans (1-1)(-3.5)
1:00 pm Reliant Stadium
Every season, there is one team that I can never predict. I think the Texans are going to be that team this season. On paper, they should win this one. They get a Jaguars team that just got embarrassed at home by Arizona, a team that almost never wins anywhere near the East Coast. Furthermore, the Texans have this game in Houston and they are coming off an impressive and important win. However on paper, they should have beaten the Jets two weeks ago and probably should have lost last week. Oh Gary Kubiak, don’t do this to me all year.
Pick: Texans

Kansas City Chiefs (0-2) vs. Philadelphia Eagles (1-1)(-9)
1:00 pm Lincoln Financial Field
Look, I know the Chiefs aren’t going to be good this season. My 8-8 prediction may have been WAY off. But there is no reason the Eagles should be favored by more than three or four against anyone without Donovan McNabb and potentially without Brian Westbrook.
Pick: Eagles, Chiefs cover

Cleveland Browns (0-2) vs. Baltimore Ravens (2-0)(-13.5)
1:00 pm M&T Bank Stadium
So I wonder if Eric Mangini still thinks Brady Quinn should start over Derek Anderson. 18-31 for 161 yards and a pick is a terrible day against any defense. Against the Broncos defense, that’s an absolute joke.
Pick: Ravens, Browns cover

New York Giants (2-0)(-6.5) vs. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (0-2)
1:00 pm Raymond James Stadium
So FOX has a new sitcom starring Michael Strahan. I think it’s called “Brothers”. It might as well be called “Canceled”. Is that really the best they could come up with? Really? This passes as entertainment? I don’t know what’s more shocking…that someone had an idea to use Ol’ Gaptooth in a sitcom, or that several people green-lighted the idea and actually allowed it on air. What does the director think of this monstrosity? What about his co-stars (and I use the term “star” very loosely here)? I can only imagine how that conversation went:

Studio Exec: We think you’d be perfect for our new sitcom.
Random Actor: Really? That’s great! What’s it about?
Studio Exec: About a football player who falls from grace and is forced to move back in with his parents.
Random Actor: Wow, that sounds interesting. Where do I sign!?!
Studio Exec: Right here. Thanks for coming in.
Random Actor: Thanks for having me. By the way, who is starring in this show?
Studio Exec: We got a great lead for this sitcom. You may have heard of him. His name is Michael Strahan.
Random Actor: Huh…what? Wait a minute, can I have that contract back…

The over/under on the amount of episodes has got to be 3.5. And that might be really generous. I can’t imagine anyone would want to watch this crap on a Friday night.
Pick: Giants

Green Bay Packers (1-1)(-6.5) vs. St. Louis Rams (0-2)
1:00 pm Edward Jones Dome
Boy the Packers got a gift schedule. Start with the Bears at home, followed by the Bengals at home, then the miserable Rams. Except they forgot to show up for their game against Cincinnati.
Pick: Packers

San Francisco 49ers (2-0) vs. Minnesota Vikings (2-0)(-7)
1:00 pm Metrodome
Reason #1759 why Brett Favre should quit: He won’t be the best quarterback in this game…and the other quarterback is Shaun Hill.
Pick: Vikings

Atlanta Falcons (2-0) vs. New England Patriots (1-1)(-4)
1:00 pm Gillette Stadium
Well, this game could tell us a few things. Are the Falcons for real and not a one year fluke? More importantly, is Tom Brady still hurt and are the Patriots in trouble this season? Besides the last three minutes of the Buffalo game, the Pats offense has looked even worse than last season.
Pick: Patriots

Chicago Bears (1-1)(-2) vs. Seattle Seahawks (1-1)
4:05 pm Qwest Field
Until further notice, I won’t be picking Seattle. And that further notice entails Seneca Wallace not sniffing the starting quarterback role.
Pick: Bears

New Orleans Saints (2-0)(-6.5) vs. Buffalo Bills (1-1)
4:05 pm Ralph Wilson Stadium
This game will take four hours because neither defense will be able to stop the other team. It appears that this would be an easy pick for the Saints, but I think the Bills will at least be able to keep it close. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if this turns out to be heartbreaking loss number two for the Bills.
Pick: Saints

Miami Dolphins (0-2) vs. San Diego Chargers (1-1)(-6)
4:15 pm Qualcomm Stadium
The Dolphins fought hard and lost a tough one to Indy. They are somehow making the Wildcat work, despite it failing for every other team. I know Indy’s defense isn’t the best, but the Dolphins should keep that formation in the playbook for now. Meanwhile, the Chargers lost the Norv Turner way: conservative. Down 28-23 inside the Ravens 20, Norv decided to kick the field goal. Then down 31-26 with less than two minutes left, Norv decided to run the ball up the middle on 4th and two. This was during a game that Phillip Rivers had well over 400 yards throwing the ball. Yeah, that makes tons of sense.
Pick: Chargers

Pittsburgh Steelers (1-1)(-3.5) vs. Cincinnati Bengals (1-1)
4:15 pm Paul Brown Stadium
The Steelers are only 3.5 point favorites in this one? That’s a gift from Vegas.
Pick: Steelers

Denver Broncos (2-0)(-1.5) vs. Oakland Raiders (1-1)
4:15 pm Oakland Coliseum
Either the Raiders go 2-1 or the Broncos somehow go 3-0. I never thought I’d be writing that in Week 3. I see the Raiders running game having a field day with the Denver defense.
Pick: Raiders

Indianapolis Colts (2-0) vs. Arizona Cardinals (1-1)(-3)
8:20 pm University of Phoenix Stadium
This is easily the most interesting game of the week. The Colts have proven that their defense isn’t good enough to stop a decent offense this season, but their offense is still among the league’s best (even without Tony Dungy and Marvin Harrison). Meanwhile, the Cardinals laid an egg against San Francisco then romped over an uninterested Jacksonville team. So the jury is still out on them. I’ll take a chance with the road team.
Pick: Colts

MONDAY

Carolina Panthers (0-2) vs. Dallas Cowboys (1-1)(-9)
8:30 pm Cowboys Stadium
It took three years, but finally someone called out Tony “Oh-for-every big game” Romo. Shockingly, it was Tony Dorsett. Dorsett’s words have stuck in the media, and people are slowly starting to understand that despite the impressive stats, Romo is a choke artist. He has never won a big December game. He has certainly never won a game in January. In fact, the reason the Cowboys lose those games is usually because of Romo. Not Terrell Owens. Not the incompetent Wade Phillips. Romo is the reason. Romo couldn’t even win the Cowboys home opener in that embarrassment of a stadium (the look on Jerry Jones’ surgically altered face was priceless). Romo now gets to face Jake Delhomme, who may be the only quarterback more inaccurate than he is. I’m betting on a minimum of five combined interceptions.
Pick: Cowboys, Panthers cover