NFL Week 15: Better Late Than Never

Sorry for the lateness of the picks this week. My computer completely crashed on me. I do most of the writing for these things at work, but I still try to upload them at my place. I was unable to do it. This was written Thursday afternoon, and I swear I haven’t changed a pick since then. You’ll have to trust me I guess. The records:
Overall: 128-67 (66%)
Vs. Spread: 110-77-8
By the way, I counted the Giants win over Carolina as a win for me. As I noted in the pick on Thursday, if Chris Weinke started, then the pick of Carolina would be void. Weinke started (it was announced Friday afternoon), and the pick was changed in theory. You don’t like those rules? Tough, start your own website.

THURSDAY
San Francisco 49ers (5-8) vs. Seattle Seahawks (8-5)(-9)
8:00 p.m. Qwest Field
With the weekly Seahawks game comes my weekly fantasy update. Despite having Matt Hasselbeck and Shaun Alexander do basically nothing last week, I snuck into the playoffs in both of my leagues (big thank you to Maurice Jones-Drew). Guys, do you think you could do something for me against the dreadful 49ers defense this week? It’s playoff time!
Pick: Seahawks, 49ers cover

SATURDAY
Dallas Cowboys (8-5)(-3.5) vs. Atlanta Falcons (7-6)
8:00 p.m. Georgia Dome
It’s official. The NFL is now no better than the NCAA. Games on Thursday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday this week. What a joke. Soon we’ll have the Titans hosting the Broncos in the Liberty Bowl after the season ends. Speaking of jokes, how bout that new Cowboys stadium. It’s going to cost $1 billion and they still can’t close that stupid hole in the roof. The Cowboys say the hole is there so “God can watch his team play.” Gag me. It’s actually there because of incompetence and monetary issues while building the original Texas Stadium. Ironically, incompetence (signing T.O.) and monetary issues (signing T.O., Bledsoe and Vanderjagt) are the same reason Dallas won’t be going far this postseason.
Pick: Cowboys

SUNDAY
New York Jets (7-6) vs. Minnesota Vikings (6-7)(-3)
1:00 p.m. H.H.H. Metrodome
Boy did the Jets choke last week. It was as if Tom Coughlin forgot which New Jersey team he was coaching and showed up to the wrong game.
Pick: Jets

Cleveland Browns (4-9) vs. Baltimore Ravens (10-3)(-10)
1:00 p.m. M&T Bank Stadium
Brian Billick said early this week that he was excited about the possibility of an AFC championship game in Baltimore (he said nothing to the fact that the Ravens are currently third in the conference and still have to win at least one, likely two games, to even get there). Why would he want that? So escaped convict Ray Lewis could do his ridiculous little dance? So the Ravens could rename the stadium again? So they could move the game in the middle of the night to Indianapolis?
Pick: Ravens

Houston Texans (4-9) vs. New England Patriots (9-4)(-11)
1:00 p.m. Gillette Stadium
So the Patriots lost last Sunday because Miami was cheating by stealing Tom Brady’s audio signals? Of course, that’s it. The only way the Patriots can lose is if the other team cheats. I get it. At least they didn’t lose because they are massively overrated and a first-round playoff exit waiting to happen. Otherwise they’d be in trouble.
Pick: Patriots

Miami Dolphins (6-7) vs. Buffalo Bills (6-7)(-2)
1:00 p.m. Ralph Wilson Stadium
There are some teams and players I just won’t take as favorites. The Bills and J.P. Losman are two of them.
Pick: Dolphins

Pittsburgh Steelers (6-7)(-3) vs. Carolina Panthers (6-7)
1:00 p.m. Bank of America Stadium
The disclaimer I made last week still stands here. If Jake Delhomme starts, then the pick stands. If Weinke starts, then the pick is flipped. Just one of the problems of having to post this before the Thursday night game.
Pick: Panthers

Jacksonville Jaguars (8-5)(-3) vs. Tennessee Titans (6-7)
1:00 p.m. LP Field
My vote for rookie of the year (so far…there’s still three weeks left) goes to Maurice Jones-Drew. If anyone saw some of the plays he made against Indy last week, they’d agree with me. It wasn’t just his running. He had a brilliant kick return. He also de-cleated some Colts players while he was blocking. He can run, he can catch and he can pass protect. He’s the entire package. Once the Jags decide to get rid of or bench Fred Taylor, Jones-Drew is going to put some ridiculous numbers. In two years, he’ll be the second best back in the league (behind LT of course). Vince Young is a somewhat distant second in my ROY voting and Marques Colston is an even further distant third. On another note, stay away from this game. Don’t bet on it.
Pick: Jaguars?

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (3-10) vs. Chicago Bears (11-2)(-14.5)
1:00 p.m. Soldier Field
Someone who shouldn’t be in the discussion for rookie of the year is Devin Hester. Sure he can return kicks. But what else can he do? Anything? If you think he’s even in the top 5 of rookies you are on something. Stop kidding yourself. Give me a position player. There are separate awards for special team players.
Pick: Bears, Bucs cover

Detroit Lions (2-11) vs. Green Bay Packers (5-8)(-5)
1:00 p.m. Lambeau Field
No matter how bad or how old Brett Favre gets, he still has two guaranteed games against Detroit to bump his stats up each season.
Pick: Packers

Denver Broncos (7-6)(-3.5) vs. Arizona Cardinals (4-9)
4:05 p.m. University of Phoenix Stadium
Arizona is in its usual late-season upset mode at home. It gives all their fans a glimmer of hope and convinces everyone else that the Cardinals will be a darkhorse team the following year. Too bad they’ve playing that tune for the past 15 years.
Pick: Cardinals

Philadelphia Eagles (7-6) vs. New York Giants (7-6)(-5)
4:15 p.m. Giants Stadium
Next on FOX: Stay tuned for a thrilling game between old division rivals as Jeff Garcia and the resurgent Eagles travel to the Meadowlands to take on Eli Manning, Jeremy Shockey and a desperate group of Giants. The battle for the final playoff spot in the NFC and the chance to be the first team eliminated in the postseason is up for grabs. The NFL on FOX, catch our flex-scheduling fever!
Pick: Giants

St. Louis Rams (5-8) vs. Oakland Raiders (2-11)(-2.5)
4:15 p.m. McAfee Coliseum
The two teams that used to share Los Angeles battle it out in one of their new slum-like cities in a fight to decide which one made the biggest mistake by leaving one of the most lucrative markets in the country. The winner gets nothing, just a trip back to the crime capital of the country (St. Louis) or one of the murder capitals of the country (Oakland).
Pick: Rams

Kansas City Chiefs (7-6) vs. San Diego Chargers (11-2)(-9)
8:15 p.m. Qualcomm Stadium
Seeing as Kansas City is four games behind San Diego in the West with only three to play, it seems as if the Chiefs won’t be winning the division this year. It’s a good thing I didn’t predict that! No, please don’t go back to look at my midseason predictions.
Pick: Chargers, Chiefs cover

MONDAY
Cincinnati Bengals (8-5) vs. Indianapolis Colts (10-3)(-3)
8:30 p.m. RCA Dome
With all the people eliminating the Colts, you’d think they were a .500 team. Look, the Colts obviously have problems running the ball and stopping the run. All the talking heads are right in saying that the Colts can’t win in the playoffs unless they shore up their running defense in a hurry. But to say that this team is done? Are you serious? Don’t tell me that anyone is really considering picking against them at their dome on artificial turf.
Pick: Colts