Redskins at Chargers: The Final Goodbye

Washington Redskins (4-11) vs. San Diego Chargers (12-3)
4:15 p.m. Qualcomm Stadium
Considering the effort the Redskins have given the last two weeks, I doubt it really makes a difference who San Diego plays or rests. The good thing is that this will be the last week of this disaster of season and it will be the last time I write about the Redskins for awhile (unless of course I feel inclined to write about the draft or the offseason or Mike Shanahan...by the way, it’s still 50-50 whether Shanahan comes here or not). That’s really saying something. I’m always a little depressed after the final football game. Even last year, when the Skins started 6-2 and then systematically ripped the heart out of their entire fanbase, I was upset I wouldn’t see another game for about nine months. This year, it’s kind of a relief. I don’t have to worry about this team embarrassing itself or its fans on national television anymore.

Congrats go out to Brian Orakpo. He managed to have an outstanding rookie season, despite resident defensive moron Greg Blache making him drop into coverage about 90% of the time. I’m not sure the Pro Bowl bid was deserved, but the outside linebacking position was a little weak in the NFC this season. If it wasn’t for Brian Cushing, Orakpo would be a shoo-in for NFL defensive rookie of the year. He should still get that honor over Cushing, but it will be close. It doesn’t hurt Cushing that his team is somewhat respectable. Orakpo doesn’t have the benefit.

Neither did London Fletcher, who once again was left off the Pro Bowl roster. I understand taking Patrick Willis over Fletcher, but Jonathan Vilma? Really? I know the Saints had a great season, but it was because of their offense. For all the ballyhoo that surrounded Gregg Williams in New Orleans, his defense was 19th in the league in points allowed and 24th in yards allowed. Those are terrible numbers. The Redskins defense was statistically better. Vilma clearly got in based on his team’s performance (really, the offense’s performance) instead of his individual effort. There’s a good chance the Saints go to the Super Bowl, and Vilma can’t play in this new age Pro Bowl, which would allow Fletcher to go in his place. Still, it’s a crime that Fletcher has yet to make a Pro Bowl in his career…and he had another Pro Bowl-caliber season on a bad team this year.

The distraction of the week for the Redskins (the distraction of the week should be a sponsored segment on this page, currently accepting applications for the right to sponsor it next season) was Jerry Gray acting like a clown. Just come out and say that you interviewed for the job already. Everyone knows you did. The NFL has even said that you did. There’s no point in lying. You are already about to become a coaching pariah. If you admit to it, you will be blackballed for a shorter amount of time. As I keep saying, the greatest thing about this season ending, other than not having to worry about how the team will embarrass itself, is that Blache and Gray are only days away from being shown the door for good. I would say don’t even let them on the plane on the way back…but since the game is in San Diego, that wouldn’t really be a punishment. These two idiots have taken a potentially talented defense and made them average all year. Well done boys. Neither of you will be hirable for the next five years. Gray may not be back in the NFL for even longer. That helps me smile.

Speaking of coaching, look who is on the other sideline this weekend. Norval Eugene Turner! He still looks as clueless as always, and his face is still as potholed as always, but his team looks like a legitimate contender. Usually the Chargers go through the first three months of the season in a fog, before waking up in December, winning a crappy division, and then bowing out in the AFC Divisional or Championship round. True to form, San Diego got off to a rough start in 2009. But they woke up earlier than expected. After starting 2-3, and falling three games behind the overrated Broncos, the Chargers reeled off ten straight wins to lock up the pitiful AFC West once again. Some of those wins have come against the Chiefs, Raiders and Browns. Others have come against the Bengals, Eagles and Cowboys. They haven’t played any of the other favorites in their conference (Colts, Patriots, Steelers) during that stretch, nor have they had to play the Saints, Vikings or Cardinals. But ten in a row is ten in a row, and they’ve played some decent teams during that run.

Norv has accomplished this by basically doing nothing. As always, he is going nowhere near the defensive side of things. He’s allowed his assistants to handle most of the offensive responsibilities. Basically Norv puts on his Chargers windbreaker (or bubble coat and ski cap when away from San Diego), puts on the headset, then stares into space for three hours. And look what’s happened. The offense has finally blossomed and become consistent. The Tomlinson-Sproles rushing attack is dangerous. San Diego has finally figured out how to use Vincent Jackson. Antonio Gates has stopped carrying the load and has managed to stay relatively healthy because of that. And most importantly, Philip Rivers more closely resembles Peyton Manning instead of Jay Cutler. Right now, the only offenses that rival San Diego are Indianapolis and New Orleans. And the Chargers have a better defense than New Orleans. So if Norv continues to be laissez-faire, and Jim Caldwell stops trying to screw things up in Indy, the Chargers-Colts AFC Championship game will probably be better than the Super Bowl.

Fortunately for the Redskins, the Chargers are locked into the two seed in the AFC. This game means less for them than it does for the Redskins. Norv is a very conservative coach, so I doubt we’ll see the Chargers starters in the middle of the third quarter. Then again, don’t count out Norv being a little bitter and trying to drive the final stake through Dan Snyder’s heart. I’m sure he would like some revenge after the way he was run out of town. No better way than piling on a already miserable season. To Jim Zorn, it’s been fun. I like the guy, he’s a breath of fresh air during press conferences, but it’s clear he’s not meant to be a NFL head coach. To Blache and Gray, hopefully the doors do hit you on the way out. To the original hog Joe Bugel, may your retirement be enjoyable, you will be missed. I guess there’s always a slight chance you’ll keep sticking around. To the 2009-10 Redskins, good night and good luck. Hopefully we’ll see you in better times in September.