Maryland Basketball: Yea, Though I Walk Through The Valley Of The Shadow of Dorks, I Will Fear No Cheer Sheet

Maryland Terrapins (16-8, 6-3) at
#2/2 Duke Blue Devils (21-1, 9-0)
Juan Dixon Indoor Stadium - Durham, NC

Welcome back. Nice to see you could pull yourselves away from the “riveting” Congressional hearing today to check in with me. Oh, you didn’t watch any? Well, join the club that consists of 350 million Americans, all of whom could care less about any of it. I really believe the only people who are paying attention are members of ESPN. Did Roger Clemens take steroids? I don’t know. I do know the guy is a greedy asshole who thinks only of himself and could care less about any of his former teammates. And that was before the whole steroid issue came into light. So if he’s truly guilty, then he got what was coming to him.

Speaking of getting some comeuppance, how about Kelvin Sampson. I’ll admit that when I started this page several years ago, I was a big Sampson fan. I believe I even stated as much when I talked about Sampson and Oklahoma in the NCAA tournament. I’ll be the first to tell you that I was completely wrong on this guy. He got busted at OU for more than 500 illegal calls and contacts with recruits. Over 500! Then, as the program is about to go under, he bolts for Indiana and leaves OU to their own devises. Less than two years later, it comes to light that Sampson, during his short time at Indiana, has made another 100 illegal calls to several players. At what point should an athletic director come up to Sampson’s office and unplug the phone? A couple of questionable phone calls I can understand. It’s impossible to sift through the mammoth legislation of the NCAA and know exactly what’s legal and illegal. But more than 600 illegal calls over the course of a 5-6 year span? That’s inexcusable. The good news is that it appears Sampson will be taken down this time. There will be nowhere for him to hide, no other job for him to bounce to. He either goes down with the ship at Indiana, or disappears and goes down by himself. Either way, I think Sampson is on his last legs as a NCAA coach.

Speaking of slimeballs, Maryland pays their yearly visit to Juan Dixon Owns This Indoor Stadium and drops in on one of the dirtiest coaches in the game. From Chris Carrawell to Corey Maggette to abandoning his team during the 1995 season, Ratface has seen it all and done it all. But this guy is bulletproof. His reputation remains intact. Even the bizarre lacrosse/stripper incident last year that prompted the NCAA to investigate the lacrosse program, and the athletic department as a whole, didn’t hurt Ratface. Mostly because the NCAA investigated every Dook sport but one. You guessed it. The NCAA didn’t spend one second looking into the Dook men’s basketball program. Can’t imagine why. Is that because they already know what they would find and want to avoid the headache of one of the most famous coaches getting his reputation thrown through the mud? Congress should have a hearing on this.

Conspiracy theories aside, there is a basketball game to talk about. The Dorks, despite being a team with two obvious and glaring flaws, continue to win. It is so frustrating to see these weaknesses and then watch as teams refuse to exploit them. No team is more guilty of doing so than Maryland. After pounding the Dookies inside for the entire first half of the January 27th meeting (with great success I might add), the Terps abandoned this approach and fell in love with the three. Not surprisingly, the Terps went cold. Even though Maryland shot 54% for the entire game, the shooting percentage in the 2nd half was decisively lower than the shooting percentage in the first. The long shots away from the basket led to easy rebounds for the Dookies, and despite being much smaller and less physical, the Blow Devils out-rebounded Maryland 22-15 in the second half. The easy rebounds led to transition points for Dook and helped the Nerds shoot 53% in the second half on way to a 93-84 win that Maryland could have easily prevented.

So, considering that Maryland has already lost to these fucks once at home, what chance do they have on the road? Valid question. Have the Terps suddenly become 10 points better or the Dookies 10 points worse? Not likely. But you have to remember that as much as Dook outplayed the Terps in the second half, Maryland just as easily outplayed the Dorks in the first half. The potential to outplay Dook is there. Maryland just has to put it together for two halves.

The first half of that game was a dunk and layup show for the Terps. If Maryland goes inside early AND often, they should win this game. Dook didn’t have an answer for James Gist and Boom Osby in the first game, and I guarantee you they haven’t found an answer on their roster in the past 17 days. Freshman White Stiff is 6’8”, but he hates playing inside. Gerald HenderScum and his Elbow don’t mind getting dirty (as he’s show repeatedly over the last couple of seasons), but he’s only 6’4”. So is Half Nelson. Even though the Dookies out-rebounded the Terps 22-15 in the second half, Maryland held the rebounding edge 20-6 at halftime. That’s right, the Dookies had a grand total of six rebounds at halftime in the last game. The only reason the numbers switched around was because Maryland’s inside first strategy disappeared.

Gist has been on a monster tear, and there’s no reason to think he can’t duplicate his 26-point performance from last game. Greivis Vasquez has also been red hot, so look for his modest numbers in the first game to go up. Eric Hayes only had eight points and Landon Milbourne only contributed seven. Both players are finally healthy and have scored in double digits several times in that last few games. Conversely, there is no way that HenderScum is going to score 23 again. Nelson can score, but I don’t think he’s good for another 27 point effort. 16 points and five rebounds seems more likely. There is no way Nolan Smith is going to score 14 off the bench. While I would expect Ugly-Ass Scheyer to score more than four points on two-for-seven shooting, and maybe Freshman White Stiff will score more than seven (or maybe not, since Gist absolutely shut him down in the last contest), I don’t think Dook’s good for another 93 point outburst. Somewhere in the high 70’s/low 80’s is more like it (and now that I’ve said that, expect the Dookies to put up 100...me and my jinxes).

Maryland, if they go inside, should be able to keep up with the Dookies. I’m sure there will be times that Ratface’s Floor-Slappers will go on a mini-run, the Caffeinated Geeks in the seats will get all riled up and Maryland will feel compelled to shoot threes to keep up or quiet the crowd. If they fall into that trap they are going to lose. If they worry more about what’s on the cheer sheets than who’s covering Screamin’ Scheyer, they are going to lose. If Vasquez feels more compelled to taunt the Nerds in attendance than causing Greg The Human Turnover Machine to do what he normally does in big games, than the Terps are going to lose.

We know Maryland can establish their game. We know Maryland can play their game. They have to do it for 40 minutes. Not 20, not 30…40. If they do so, the Dookies do not have the talent to stop them inside. No forced passes. No three-pointers with 25 seconds left on the shot clock. Shut down the perimeter, but not at the expense of guarding the paint and exploiting one of Maryland’s greatest strengths and one of the Dookies greatest weaknesses. If New White Stiff and company start hitting three’s, it’s OK. Maryland should know exactly where to go to counter and get easy points (Unless, of course, the refs give Dook the Dook treatment. I'm sure that Karl Hess, fresh off handing Georgetown a win on Monday and UNC a win yesterday, will be looking to complete the weekly trifecta. If Hess isn't there, than regular Dook backer Ted Valentine will surely be on hand. I guarantee one of those morons, if not both, will be doing the game).

No visiting team plays better in this arena than Maryland. The virgins in the stands are not a factor to Gary Williams and company. They have no effect. Maryland plays better in hostile crowds against better teams. All the players have to do is trust Gary and his newfound inside game plan. All things being equal, this game is going to come down to the coaches. While Ratface may be able to out-recruit Williams, on the actual court, I’d take Gary 10 times out of 10. No active coach has won more big games against highly ranked teams than Gary. With the exception of last month’s second half, Gary has overwhelmingly out-coached Ratface over the course of the past decade. He’s ruined Dook’s senior days, he’s ruined winning streaks, he’s proven to the world that better Dook teams were not as great as all the analysts said they were. It would be fantastic, in the Chinese Year of the Rat, if Gary could hand the King Rat himself a loss and ruin his birthday party.

Maryland 84
Duke 80

Elsewhere in the ACC (just the scores version)…

NC State 68, Boston College 57
Florida State 76, Wake Forest 68
Clemson 88, Georgia Tech 75