NFL Week 5: Dropped The Ball, Blame The Flag

It was a very good week, as I picked a little conservatively and it worked out. I went a terrific 11-2 overall (and one of the games I got wrong was the Denver-Dallas game…so I don’t mind the “L” there) and 9-4 against the spread. So the records look much better this week:

Overall: 40-18 (69%)
vs. Spread: 32-26

SUNDAY

Minnesota Vikings (4-0)(-10) vs. St. Louis Rams (0-4)
1:00 p.m. Edward Jones Dome
For those sick of hearing Brett Favre talk, I’ll try to spare you. However, I had to comment on one exchange from ESPN before the game started. I avoided the majority of the coverage and game, but I tuned just in time to hear Michelle Tafoya ask Mike McCarthy: “What have you done to prepare yourself for when you talk to Favre before the game.” If that’s not the most self-indulgent quote of all-time, I don’t know what is. The gall of Tafoya and ESPN to assume McCarthy wasted his time to actually think through what he would say to the opposing quarterback during warm-ups. McCarthy mocked the question and walked away. He’s still a lousy coach, but he moves up a peg in my book.
Pick: Vikings

Dallas Cowboys (2-2)(-7) vs. Kansas City Chiefs (0-4)
1:00 p.m. Arrowhead Stadium
Say it after me: The Cowboys are a below average team. Tony Romo is not even close to being a Top 10 NFL quarterback. Jerry Jones is still the worst owner in the game. Repeat as needed.
Pick: Cowboys, Chiefs cover

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (0-4) vs. Philadelphia Eagles (2-1)(-14.5)
1:00 p.m. Lincoln Financial Field
Donovan McNabb returns (until his next injury) and Josh Johnson showed enough against the Redskins to start opposite of him (until Raheem Morris goes to Josh Freeman, which should be any day now).
Pick: Eagles

Oakland Raiders (1-3) vs. New York Giants (4-0)(-16)
1:00 p.m. Giants Stadium
The Giants are getting 16 points? We haven’t seen lines like this since the 2007 New England Patriots. The Giants are good, but they are not that good. Nowhere near it in fact. Plus Eli Manning may or may not play and certainly won’t be 100%. I know that JaMarcus Russell couldn’t hit Gilbert Brown with a screen pass, but still…16 points is an awful lot.
Pick: Giants, Raiders cover

Cleveland Browns (0-4) vs. Buffalo Bills (1-3)(-6)
1:00 p.m. Ralph Wilson Stadium
The loser of the game might as well just fire the coach/cut their crazy wide receiver/start their 3rd string quarterback/move to Toronto. Fill in the blank for the appropriate team.
Pick: Bills

Cincinnati Bengals (3-1) vs. Baltimore Ravens (3-1)(-8)
1:00 p.m. M&T Bank Stadium
According to the Ravens, they haven’t lost a game in the past three seasons. They only have wins taken away by the referees. Seriously, for a team that embraces its thuggish side, I’ve never seen a bigger collection of crybabies. I have an idea, if you want to stop the officials from throwing flags, stop hitting the opposing quarterbacks in the head! That’s been a penalty for over a decade. You can’t do it. It’s a penalty. Stop blaming the fucking refs. Try signing receivers that can catch a pass that hits them right between the numbers.
Pick: Ravens

Pittsburgh Steelers (2-2)(-10.5) vs. Detroit Lions (1-3)
1:00 p.m. Ford Field
This is another line that concerns me. The Steelers played like gangbusters last week (at least for three quarters) and proved that they are still the best team in the AFC North and still among the AFC elite. Something tells me that they nap through most of this one.
Pick: Steelers

Atlanta Falcons (2-1) vs. San Francisco 49ers (3-1)(-2)
4:05 p.m. Candlestick Park
Before we get too carried away with the 49ers, let’s see if they can defend their home turf against a team making a 3,000-mile road trip. I’ll take the Falcons, if for nothing else, because they are coming off their bye week and have two weeks to prepare.
Pick: Falcons

New England Patriots (3-1)(-3) vs. Denver Broncos (4-0)
4:15 p.m.
Denver’s first four opponents were 6-10. Their next four opponents are 10-6. Let’s see if that miracle play continues to carry this team.
Pick: Patriots

Houston Texans (2-2) vs. Arizona Cardinals (1-2)(-5)
4:15 p.m. University of Phoenix Stadium
Finally, I got a Texans game right! I know they were playing the Raiders, but I finally got off the schnide. Still, I can’t completely figure this team out. Again, I’ll play it safe and take the team coming off their bye week.
Pick: Cardinals

Jacksonville Jaguars (2-2) vs. Seattle Seahawks (1-3)(Pick-em)
4:15 p.m. Qwest Field
The Jaguars have averaged just over 47,000 fans in their first two home games this season. And that’s the announced attendance. I have a feeling that the actual attendance is well under 40,000. Since they’re already on the West Coast, maybe they should save themselves the longer trip and just start playing in Los Angeles.
Pick: Seahawks

Indianapolis Colts (4-0)(-4) vs. Tennessee Titans (0-4)
8:20 p.m. LP Field
Don’t look now, but the two teams I predicted in the Super Bowl are a combined 8-0 and playing teams this week that are a combined 1-7. Right now, the Colts have an easy path to the Super Bowl. The Titans, who figured to be their toughest competition in the AFC South, are already four games behind them. The darkhorse Texans are already two back. A win here, and the Colts can pretty much cruise to a division title and a certain bye week in the postseason.
Pick: Colts

MONDAY

New York Jets (3-1)(-1.5) vs. Miami Dolphins (1-3)
8:30 p.m. Land Shark Stadium
Last chance for the Dolphins to make a stand before they fall three games behind both New York and New England. I hate to say I told you so, but I definitely saw this 1-3 start coming. I also called Mark Sanchez having a bad week against the Saints. Let’s stop anointing him the next New York savior until he gets through an entire season.
Pick: Jets

Bye Week: Chicago, Green Bay, New Orleans, San Diego