NFL Week 9: A Meadowlands Fright Fest

BOO! Happy Halloween everyone. The only thing scarier than a pants-less Mike Singletary has been my record. Even with another 8-5 week, I’m still struggling to hang around the 60% plateau. So far I’m 63-45. The 6-6-1 record against the spread wasn’t much better, but the overall spread record is still respectable (56-48-4). As always, do not use the following picks for gambling purposes of any kind.

SUNDAY

Houston Texans (3-4) vs. Minnesota Vikings (3-4)(-4.5)
1:00 p.m. Metrodome
So that’s three in a row for the Texans, huh? It’s good to see them get back to respectability after the hurricane fiasco. They also find themselves tied for 2nd place in the AFC South. True, they are four games out of first, but they are just as close as Indianapolis or Jacksonville.
Pick: Vikings

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (5-3)(-8.5) vs. Kansas City Chiefs (1-6)
1:00 p.m. Arrowhead Stadium
After scoring 23 points a game through their first seven contests, the Bucs managed only nine against a depleted Cowboys defense that was about to turn on their coaching staff. Thanks for nothing Tampa.
Pick: Buccaneers, Chiefs cover

Jacksonville Jaguars (3-4)(-7.5) vs. Cincinnati Bengals (0-8)
1:00 p.m. Paul Brown Stadium
Now we come to the part of the program featuring our two remaining winless teams. I said several weeks ago that I fully expected to Detroit to run the table and avoid winning a game the entire season. I did not expect the Bengals to do the same. I figured they’d sneak in three to four wins somewhere along the course of the season. Without Carson Palmer, there’s a real chance that Cincinnati joins the Lions in their quest for imperfection. By the way, after Jacksonville is done in Cincinnati, they get to play in Detroit. If they’re not 5-4 by Veterans Day, they’re in real trouble.
Pick: Jaguars

Detroit Lions (0-7) vs. Chicago Bears (4-3)(-13)
1:00 p.m. Solider Field
I still think Detroit will remain winless until next season (or even beyond that). However, they’ve been a bit frisky lately, so I think that line may be a bit high. I’m still not sold on the “first-place” Bears offense, even after their performance against Minnesota a couple of weeks ago (and I say “first-place” because the Bears would be last in the NFC East and 3rd place in a couple other stronger divisions).
Pick: Bears, Lions cover

Baltimore Ravens (4-3) vs. Cleveland Browns (3-4)(-1.5)
1:00 p.m. Cleveland Browns Stadium
This will be a big week, but tough week for Ravens fans everywhere. This is a game they should win. The team ahead of them in the division – the arch-rival Steelers – hit the road with a multitude of injuries against a good NFC East team. If everything plays out right for Baltimore, they could be tied with Pittsburgh on top of the North with the remaining game against the Steelers scheduled at home in the crime capital of the world. The problem for Ravens fans: they’ll have to root hard for the Redskins to beat Pittsburgh. I’ll enjoy that.
Pick: Browns

New York Jets (4-3) vs. Buffalo Bills (5-2)(-5.5)
1:00 p.m. Ralph Wilson Stadium
I went against my better judgment and picked the Bills last week, even though I knew and said on this page that they’d probably lose to Miami. With their big game against New England coming up, I somewhat expect Buffalo to lose again this week, but I’m going to go against my better judgment again.
Pick: Bills

Arizona Cardinals (4-3)(-2.5) vs. St. Louis Rams (2-5)
1:00 p.m. Edward Jones Dome
The Cardinals are slowly getting better during this 1:00 games away from home. They were pretty close to knocking off a good Panthers team last week. Since St. Louis is technically not the East Coast, Arizona’s usual bad performances East of the Mississippi doesn’t come in to play here.
Pick: Cardinals

Green Bay Packers (4-3) vs. Tennessee Titans (7-0)(-5)
1:00 p.m. LP Field
I’m very tempted to pick Green Bay since they’re coming off a bye week and the Titans are coming off an emotion win over Indianapolis. Plus, the Titans really aren’t that good. They shouldn’t be 7-0 and they shouldn’t be 8-0. I think Tennessee’s defense will be good enough to confuse Aaron Rodgers, but their first loss is coming some time in the next two weeks.
Pick: Titans

Miami Dolphins (3-4) vs. Denver Broncos (4-3)(-3)
4:05 p.m. Mile High Stadium
I don’t like picking against the Broncos at home. Especially against an offense that is up one week and down the next. However, given the Broncos inability to stop anyone, the line is correctly set at three since a last-second field goal will most likely be the difference in the game.
Pick: Broncos

Atlanta Falcons (4-3)(-3) vs. Oakland Raiders (2-5)
4:15 p.m. Oakland-Alameda County Coliseum
The Falcons gave the Eagles a tough game last week and didn’t get a chance for the go-ahead score because of an outrageously bad call. They seem to be legit. However, given the East Coast teams’ inability to win out West, the lien is correctly set at three. A last-second field goal will most likely be the difference in the game.
Pick: Raiders

Dallas Cowboys (5-3) vs. New York Giants (6-1)(-8)
4:15 p.m. Giants Stadium
I don’t care if the Cowboys can dust of Roger Staubach and start him at quarterback, I don’t think there is any way they beat the Giants. I’ve gotten the question this week that, as a Redskins fan, which team would I rather have lose? The answer is simple: Dallas. First, I hate Dallas more than most things in this world. Second, if Dallas loses, then it creates a little bit of separation in the NFC East (of course making the huge assumption that the Redskins take of business heading into their bye week). I’d rather have to deal with just the Giants in December than the Giants, Cowboys and Eagles. Hopefully the East gets top heavy soon.
Pick: Giants

Philadelphia Eagles (4-3)(-6) vs. Seattle Seahawks (2-5)
4:15 p.m. Qwest Field
My quest to see Philadelphia never win another sporting title has failed. The world’s worst fan base doesn’t deserve anything except for misery. Fortunately, it wasn’t the Eagles that brought a championship to the city. That would have been really tough to swallow.
Pick: Eagles

New England Patriots (5-2) vs. Indianapolis Colts (3-4)
8:15 p.m. Lucas Oil Stadium
Didn’t this used to be an important game? I don’t anyone is taking either team seriously anymore…at least not for this season. Still, here’s hoping Peyton has one more signature moment before the Injury Bug and the Crypt Keeper comes and engulfs his entire team.
Pick: Colts

Bye Week: Carolina, New Orleans, San Diego, San Francisco (I know, I’m disappointed that I couldn’t make any more jokes about Mike Singletary’s pants. I guess we’ll wait until next week)

The Redskins actually get to host a Monday Night game. Imagine that. It’s as if the NFL finally realized that allowing the team with the largest stadium and largest fan base to host an important night game would be a great showcase for the league. What took so long fellas?