NFL Week 6: Not Winless, But Still Hopeless

Another solid overall week (9-4) was combined with another lousy week against the spread (7-6). Eventually I’ll catch up to Vegas, but in the meantime, the records look like this:

Overall: 49-22 (69%)
Vs. Spread: 39-32

SUNDAY

Houston Texans (2-3) vs. Cincinnati Bengals (4-1)(-5.5)
1:00 p.m. Paul Brown Stadium
I still have a feeling that the Bengals are just leading their poor fans along until they collapse. This would be a classic letdown game for them. However, the Bengals have three straight home games and a bye week, so they don’t have to play on the road for another month. In other news, I think I’ve finally figured out the Jekyll and Hyde Texans.
Pick: Bengals

Cleveland Browns (1-4) vs. Pittsburgh Steelers (3-2)(-13)
1:00 p.m. Heinz Field
Remove the Browns from the winless list. I’m willing to bet it will be their only win this season. I think Cleveland truly is the worst team in the NFL this year. The problem for Cleveland is they still need a quarterback, but they’ve already invested so much money into that position already. Brady Quinn has not just been the failure I predicted; he’s been a tremendous failure. So can the Browns actually invest more money in a QB when they also have so many other gaping holes?
Pick: Steelers

Baltimore Ravens (3-2) vs. Minnesota Vikings (5-0)(-3)
1:00 p.m. Metrodome
Again, the day of reckoning is coming for the Vikings. They will not win the Super Bowl with their Narcissistic quarterback. It just won’t be here. Meanwhile, the Ravens continue to cost themselves games with idiotic penalties. Why in the world is Frank Walker committing a five-yard pass interference penalty on a 3rd-and-16 pass late in the game? I think it’s fair to say the Ravens are the dumbest team in the NFL.
Pick: Vikings

St. Louis Rams (0-5) vs. Jacksonville Jaguars (2-3)(-9.5)
1:00 p.m. Jacksonville Municipal Stadium
The Jaguars just lost by 41 points to a 1-3 football team…and they’re favored by 9.5 points! Yes, that’s how bad the Rams are.
Pick: Jaguars

New York Giants (5-0) vs. New Orleans Saints (4-0)(-3)
1:00 p.m. Louisiana Superdome
This will be the Giants first trip to New Orleans since 2005. Oh wait, that “road” game was played at the Meadowlands. Despite Hurricane Katrina, the NFL still looks ridiculous for allowing the Giants to play nine home games that season while everyone else had to play eight. By the way, the Giants won the NFC East by exactly one game that season. As for 2009, this will be the Giants first true road test, and I don’t think they’re up for it.
Pick: Saints

Carolina Panthers (1-3)(-3) vs. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (0-5)
1:00 p.m. Raymond James Stadium
Your guess is as good as mine. I guess I’ll go with the team that actually managed to beat the Redskins.
Pick: Panthers

Detroit Lions (1-4) vs. Green Bay Packers (2-2)(-14)
1:00 p.m. Lambeau Field
I know that the Lions stink. I know the Packers had two weeks to prepare for this game. I know the game is being played in Green Bay. Still, something smells about this line and about this Packers team. Like Dallas, I have a feeling that the Packers continue to be overrated. I had them going 7-9 in my preseason predictions, and it appears that they are still headed straight on that course.
Pick: Packers, Lions cover

Arizona Cardinals (2-2) vs. Seattle Seahawks (2-3)(-3)
4:05 p.m. Qwest Field
After the 49ers laid an egg and were exposed last weekend, this game takes on added importance in the race for the NFC West title. And by “race” I mean whichever team screws up the least for the next 11 weeks. I haven’t taken an upset yet, so what the heck.
Pick: Cardinals

Philadelphia Eagles (3-1)(-13.5) vs. Oakland Raiders (1-4)
4:05 p.m. Oakland-Alameda Coliseum
Remember when I said the Raiders weren’t that bad. Ignore that. They are that bad.
Pick: Eagles

Buffalo Bills (1-4) vs. New York Jets (3-2)(-10)
4:15 p.m. Giants Stadium
Speaking of bad, here come the Buffalo Bills. I’m sure the point has been made several times this week, but this is a team that allowed Derek Anderson to only complete 2 of 17 passes for 23 yards…AND LOST! TO THE BROWNS! I don’t know if it gets much worse than that.
Pick: Jets, Bills cover

Tennessee Titans (0-5) vs. New England Patriots (3-2)(-9.5)
4:15 p.m. Gillette Stadium
More signs that Tom Brady still isn’t close to being 100% and the Patriots are in trouble: Brady has a completion percentage of 61.4%. That would be lower than Jason Campbell, Seneca Wallace, Kevin Kolb and Kyle Orton. It’s only hair above Brady Quinn. Yikes.
Pick: Patriots

Chicago Bears (3-1) vs. Atlanta Falcons (3-1)(-3)
8:20 p.m. Georgia Dome
This should be a great Sunday Night game and an important game for both teams. Despite playing well, both continue to lose ground in their divisions to Minnesota and New Orleans respectively. The loser of this game probably finds themselves down at least two games in the loss column. It’s probably more important for the Falcons to take this one. They have already lost to the Saints once, where as Chicago at least has two later chances against Minnesota.
Pick: Falcons

MONDAY

Denver Broncos (5-0) vs. San Diego Chargers (2-2)(-3.5)
8:30 p.m. Qualcomm Stadium
I still don’t think I’ve taken Denver to win yet this season. The defense does seem to be legitimate, but I’m still not buying this smoke and mirrors offense. This is also the same Denver team that lost a three game lead with three to play last season. So we’ll see how the Broncos do in the second half of the season.
Pick: Chargers

Bye Week: Dallas, Indianapolis, Miami, San Francisco