NFL Week 9: LOUD NOISES!!!!

After my outstanding Week 7, Week 8 was not as kind. That doesn’t mean it was awful, just above average. The overall record was 8-5, and the spread record was 6-7. For the season, they look a little something like this:

Overall: 76-33 (69%)
Vs. Spread: 61-46-2

SUNDAY

Kansas City Chiefs (1-6) vs. Jacksonville Jaguars (3-4)(-6.5)
1:00 p.m. Jacksonville Municipal Stadium
If anyone wants to really have fun listening to a football game, try to find highlites of last week’s Jaguars-Titans game with CBS’ television call underneath. I only need two words to describe it: Gus Johnson.
Pick: Chiefs

Baltimore Ravens (4-3)(-2.5) vs. Cincinnati Bengals (5-2)
1:00 p.m. Paul Brown Stadium
It makes too much sense to pick Cincinnati here. They are at home, coming off a bye week, they’ve already beaten the Ravens, etc… Vegas clearly knows something I don’t with this line, so I’ll go with it.
Pick: Ravens

Houston Texans (5-3) vs. Indianapolis Colts (7-0)(-9)
1:00 p.m. Lucas Oil Field
As good as the Colts are, they are not going to go undefeated. But that doesn’t mean they aren’t fun to watch. Even last week, when they played their C- game against the 49ers, Peyton Manning was still able to move the ball and make the game entertaining. This is the last chance that anyone in the AFC South has of stopping the Colts from winning this division by Thanksgiving. Houston should be able to give them fits for the first half, but the Colts will probably put them, and the division, away in the 3rd quarter.
Pick: Colts

Green Bay Packers (4-3)(-10) vs. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (0-7)
1:00 p.m. Raymond James Stadium
The Packers 4-3 should really be written as 4-3* (* Meaning that they’ve already lost twice to Minnesota and are already 2.5 games behind the Vikings. So it’s really like a 3.5 game lead since the Vikings own the tiebreaker. So despite being over .500, the Packers really have no chance at winning the division and probably won’t make the playoffs because of their second half schedule).
Pick: Packers

Arizona Cardinals (4-3) vs. Chicago Bears (4-3)(-3)
1:00 p.m. Soldier Field
The Cardinals go on the road and dominate the Giants one week, then return home and get blown out by the Panthers. Does this make any sense to you? Me either. Still looks like nine games will win the NFC West.
Pick: Cardinals

Miami Dolphins (3-4) vs. New England Patriots (5-2)(-10.5)
1:00 p.m. Gillette Stadium
With the Lakers winning the NBA Championship, the Yankees winning the World Series, and the Colts on pace to win the Super Bowl, this could be an awful year to be a Boston sports fan. And an awful year for them is an awesome year for the rest of us. Go listen to some more Neil Diamond you losers.
Pick: Patriots

Carolina Panthers (3-4) vs. New Orleans Saints (7-0)(-13)
4:05 p.m. Louisiana Superdome
Jon Gruden is terrible as a MNF announcer. You might as well bring back Tony Kornheiser. First of all, he makes up retarded nicknames for just about every player. Secondly, he yells into the microphone way too much. HEY JON, THE MICROPHONE IS A DEVICE THAT PICKS UP YOUR VOICE AND THEN AMPLIFIES IT FOR YOU. YOU DON’T HAVE TO YELL FOR PEOPLE TO HEAR YOU. YOU ARE NOT GUS JOHNSON. Finally, he acted as if the Saints had cleared their last major hurdle by beating the Falcons. He said “I don’t know if anyone remaining on their schedule can come close to beating these guys.” I think the Saints are a great team. I hope they make the Super Bowl and face the Colts. But the Saints still have games against New England, Dallas and have to play at Atlanta. I wouldn’t call any of those easy wins.
Pick: Saints, Panthers cover

Detroit Lions (1-6) vs. Seattle Seahawks (2-5)(-10)
4:05 p.m. Qwest Field
I’m not sure the Seahawks should be favored over anyone, including the Lions, by double digits. On a positive note, the Seahawks are only 2 games out of first in the NFC West!
Pick: Seahawks, Lions cover

Tennessee Titans (1-6) vs. San Francisco 49ers (3-4)(-4)
4:15 p.m. Candlestick Park
There is all this talk about a moral victory for the 49ers, since they only lost by 4 at Indianapolis. I wonder how that moral victory is sitting with Mike Singletary.
Pick: 49ers

San Diego Chargers (4-3) vs. New York Giants (5-3)(-5.5)
4:15 p.m. Giants Stadium
So that’s three straight weeks the Giants have been exposed against better football teams. Not sure how much better the Chargers are (they are coached by Norv Turner after all), but I certainly think that they are better than the Giants at this point of the season. Eli Manning has definitely regressed into old school Eli Manning. The running game has become predictable. The secondary had been beaten deep. A lot of issues on this Giants team right now.
Pick: Chargers

Dallas Cowboys (5-2) vs. Philadelphia Eagles (5-2)(-3)
8:20 p.m. Lincoln Financial Field
Now that Tony Romo is done beating up on the Buccaneers and the Seahawks of the world, it will be fun to watch him fumble twice and throw at least two interceptions on the road against a good team. Cue the deer in headlights look right about…now.
Pick: Eagles

MONDAY

Pittsburgh Steelers (5-2)(-3) vs. Denver Broncos (6-1)
8:30 p.m. Mile High Stadium
If the Ravens can come off a bye week and handle Denver, then I’m sure the Steelers will have an even easier time coming off their bye week and handling Denver.
Pick: Steelers

Bye Week: Buffalo, Cleveland, Minnesota, New York Jets, Oakland, St. Louis